Purls O' Wisconsin

"i do not care about birthdays, i never remember birthdays or any of that suff, they are just another day, they mean nothng to me! You know this is how I am. I have never in my life forgotten your birthday!"

Allow me to translate this for those of you who do not speak crazymother:

"If it is my birthday, I care. A lot."

Instead of posting a facebook message, I bought a card. I like cards. I'm a card person, I like the personal touch of sending a borthday card. I didn't send it on time, I was debating sending it at all. My husband kept urging me to ignore it. I really thought about that. I thought about it too long and the card did not get mailed on Saturday. Then Sunday evening I started to feel sickly, Monday I was downright miserable with the nutmeg migraine, tuesday the pain was gone but the dizziness and icky feeling lingered. I could have called on the phone, but I won't lie: I didn't want to talk to her. I felt too siclkly to deal with drama and since my whole plan is to not engage her, I knew it would be pointless. She would find a crack in my wall and I would fight back and 1. I will never ever win and 2. it was her birthday.  

So I still had this card. I ran errands yesterday: post office to drop off a larger Etsy order that was insured, so I wanted a receipt for the time of mailing from the AWESOME Fred Johns Station post office where it is clean and smells nice and the people are NICE and HELPFUL and the patrons never smell like beer, or ass, or worse. Perhaps you thought these qualities were inherent in a postal outlet. Go hang out at the Hampton Post Office and then you,too, will sing the praises of the glory of the Fred Johns Station on Silver Spring and 91st. Mmmkay? I forgot to throw the card in my handbag. Then I ran to the market. I grocery shop all the time these days. Like at the real grocery store. I know. Just the small Sentry on Lisbon and 92nd, but it's still kind of a big goddamn deal for me and every time I go it's another bit of victory, it's another checkmark in the positive experience column. But don't let me get sidetracked....

I got home with my groceries, put them away and checked my email to see if Paypal has decided if a payment I got on Monday is legit or not so I can ship her stitchmarkers. They have not (which is a whole other pile of WTF) Then because it is to me like crack to, well..my sister...I hopped on facebook.
And after about 2 seconds of weeding through mafia wars and farmtown notices ( I don't play, but i get everyone's notices...) I realized my mom's crap was gone from the highlights sidebar.
Yep, she unfriended me. I guess it is because I did not make a big public to-do about her birthday? She did not give me a reason, and I'm not asking for one. And I noticed it hours after she did it rather than taking 7 days. I guess she thought she would fix my wagon and make me grovel for her attention and approval.

I went ahead and ran and dropped the card in the mail though, I jotted a note on the envelope about it being late since I was sick with a migraine since it was the truth. I see that's a mixed message since I feel much more relieved than hurt by her petty behavior. But I also know that it will come up at some point that I went out of my way to hurt her by ignoring her birthday (oh, i know! the crazy..it burrrrrns) and the truth was that I was just unwell.
But since this time it was her choice, I'm letting it lie and won't be adding her back in even on the off chance that she feels silly when she gets a card today or tomorrow and adds me back. I find it slightly amusing, in a weird way. I think it's just rich, really. She hasn't been able to get a rise out of me thus far  through either sending me private messages saying I should stop being mad at her "for my own sake" (holy WTF, batman?!) or posting things on my wall that have hidden meanings so I guess this was how she felt she could get her big dose of "Vitamin Victim" this week. I think it is more likely she will send the card back as return to sender if she is feeling this petty, but if she does, it's her choice. I only have to feel OK about my actions, and I feel ok about wishing her well even though it was late. Too late, I gues.

Oh and guess what made me sick? Probably a slice of cake my husband picked up for our anniversary on Sunday two days before her birthday. Did she acknowledge my anniversary in any way whatsoever? Of course not. See, she cracks me up.  I started reading this book last night called Will I Ever Be Good Enough?: Healing the Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers and um, yeah.... I'll be good enough. I only have to be good enough for me.  Also, I got a brand new chocolate brown hoodie from the UPS guy about 15 minutes ago. I love it. So I put it on right away, working on that not saving thing....:

So in internet terms I gues I am now dispwn3d.

 

Seriously, does this shit happen to other people in this manner?

Ok, so my street is due to be ripped up. Yellow trucks have been showing up for a few months spray painting shit on the road and sidewalks and stuff. They already did some sewer work in April. Surveyors have been around, they put all those little flags down. And then the brats up the street went around and collected yellow flags. Nice.

So this morning it's ramped up, there is a flurry of activity. Sawing into the roads, jackhammers. I looked out ad there is a MAN digging a hole in my YARD.  Um, hi, no one ever said they would be digging in my damn YARD. but whatevs. If they resod what they dig up I will have one really nice patch of yard with no clover. Sweet.

I go to hop into the shower and have just pulled down my jammie pants  and the water is heating up when someone bangs on the door. I was going to ignore it, but then I thought since there is a guy in  a hardhat in a  knee deep hole over the gas line, mebbe I should answer even though I look like complete ass. What if they have hit a gas line and shit?

They wanted in to replace my gas meter and move it from the basement to the side of the house.

I said NO. I need some warning, man and I really would have appreciated a letter or a call or something like they always do (aside from the time there was some Russian fucker who climbed my house and put in a new electric meter at 7 in the morning without knocking first) but I will let them in on Monday sometimes after 8 am, but not today.
He was nice about it, because he really had no choice and he knows they were supposed to call me or something ahead of time. he is going to come back on Monday, and NOT BEFORE EIGHT AM for crap's sake. And furthermore, where are they planing to put the new meter because I would rather it not be on the front of the house! He had the good grace to look chagrined and i wanted to say "That's right Sparky, how happy would YOUR WIFE be to have some dude show up and want to just waltz in and rip some shit up? Yeah, that's what I thought."

And then I went to get in the shower and realized in my haste I had pulled my pajamas up over my tee-shirt all the way to right under my boobs. So I had on a lime green tee tucked into pale pink PJ pants pulled up over my belly to give me maximum camel toe and making me look 27 years pregnant. Topped off with a yellow and white cardigan that I was trying to hold over the tee since I had no bra on and have the kind of boobs that are well past any hope of being free range.  And I fell asleep in yesterday's makeup and when i got up this morning I had raked my dirty, hair spray crispy hair back into a cracked out ponytail since my plan was to clean up the kitchen, throw together a pasta salad for dinner tonight and then hop in the shower.

I looked like a complete nutter.
Goddammit.

I took the world's fastest shower and then slapped on the Bare Minerals and dried my hair just enough to make it look on purpose and then went out to retriee my garbage carts and show them I'm not a complete whackjob, and also to make sure they KNEW where shit was since they kids had swiped the yellow flags. he said he did but that they would be remapping it anyway. The guy asked if I knew what kids did it, yeah I do..see the house that looks like the surveyor left it? Yeah, they didn't fark with the flags in front of THEIR house, now did they?

I have a feeling this will be a long summer.